Monday, July 11, 2011

30 weeks pregnant

Holy cow, I can't believe I'm 3/4 of the way done with this pregnancy! It has gone by really fast, much faster than my first pregnancy. I definitely feel very pregnant these days. I have mixed feelings about having this baby. He is very much wanted, but as he was not planned, I was not prepared physically, emotionally or financially before becoming pregnant. Heavenly Father knew I needed something like this to make me stronger and I definitely have become stronger through this process. One of the things I am looking forward to after having this baby is having my body back. I'm not talking about being skinny, although I would love that. I'm talking about after recovery, being able to walk normal again and not being in so much pain all the time. I look forward to meeting him and seeing what he looks like. I'm looking forward to breastfeeding again. I realized how much I missed the bonding experience after I weaned Claire. It's really a special thing. It's also going to be amazing watching Claire interact with him. She is obsessed with babies these days and loves to point out any baby she sees. She calls herself baby and also points to my tummy and says baby. Hopefully she'll keep that same enthusiasm when he makes his grand arrival. I'm scared of having two kids, though. I know that's hardly anything, but the thought still terrifies me. One kid is hard enough without adding another one. And then having to go back to work on top of it all. Plus, I'm really not looking forward to giving up sleep again. When Claire started sleeping through the night, I started feeling so refreshed in the morning and hardly ever have to take a nap during the day. Thankfully, I can still sleep well, although it is a challenge sometimes getting comfortable enough to fall asleep. Sometimes 10 weeks seems like an eternity thinking I have to be uncomfortable for that much longer (and it will only get worse), but other times I can't believe it's only 2 short months and he'll be here! Ready or not, I'm going to be a mom of 2 kids and I will probably have to rely heavily on help from others, especially Heavenly Father for the strength I need to get through this. When all is said and done, I'm grateful for the opportunity to be pregnant and to feel a human growing inside me. I love feeling this baby move and listening to his heartbeat. I love being a part of the miracle of life and assisting Heavenly Father in this great work - the work of bringing spirit children to earth. I know that this calling is so important and that I need to enjoy every minute I can because before I know it, my children will be grown and I will miss them so much. This is where I am meant to be and it is so worth it.

I'm not a huge fan of this picture, but it's the best one I have and it shows you my growing belly

P.S. This is my 300th post!

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